


Reciprocation

by J_J_Janson



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Amnesia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Role Reversal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-03-22 20:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13771920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_J_Janson/pseuds/J_J_Janson
Summary: Tatiana has amnesia, Zeke is trying to nurse her back to health, and neither can work up the nerve to state their feelings for each other.





	1. Chapter 1

A woman with hair as green and vast as the sea sat up in bed with no memories of who she was. A stiff-postured but handsome blonde man sat in a chair at her bedside, and was startled out of a nap when he heard her awaken. Before she could ask where she was, he wrapped her in a tight embrace. “Oh Tatiana, you are finally awake!” 

He held her tightly, but with a gentleness that made her feel warm inside. He was clearly so happy to see her awake that she hated to ask, “I’m sorry, but who are you?” She bit her lip and, hesitantly added, “And who am I?”

The blonde man let her go and, in a daze, slowly pulled away from her. He stood up, mechanically. “I will go fetch the healer.”

The green-haired woman was left by herself. She was grateful that her hair was long enough that she could see what color it was without a mirror. She ended up playing with it nervously while examining the room she had been left in. There was not much in the room besides the bed she lay in and the chair beside her. The only other piece of furniture was a small cabinet against one wall. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all of stone, so the green-haired woman suspected she was in some kind of large, important building. Maybe the blonde man had been some kind of noble? The green-haired woman blushed to herself, imagining him as a handsome prince who had nursed her back to health. 

Just then, a blue-haired woman in robes stepped into the room. She gave the green-haired woman a small bow upon entering. “Hello there, my name is Silque. I’m a priestess of Mila and a member of the Deliverance. Do you remember me?”

The green-haired woman spent a moment looking Silque up and down, and staring at her face. Finally she said “You look a bit familiar, but I don’t remember meeting you.” She thought for a moment. “I don’t really remember anything about myself before I woke up here. That’s amnesia, right?”

Silque nodded. “That’s what I suspect. Your name is Tatiana, you were a cleric in Rigel, and joined the Deliverance with me. In our final battle, you were wounded, and this is the first time you’ve woken up since then. When I say it, does any of that sound familiar?”

Tatiana thought for a moment. The name felt right, so she was pretty sure she was Tatiana. But everything else? She couldn’t say. It didn’t sound wrong, and her gut told her that it was true, but she had no evidence to support it. Still, Silque seemed nice. “Just my name. By the way, who was that man who was in here before?”

Silque hesitated for just a moment before responding. “That was General Ezekiel, also from Rigel. He has suffered from amnesia before, and says that he has recovered most of his memories by now, so he will be helping us take care of you. If you don’t mind, of course”

Tatiana shook her head, trying not to sound too eager. “No, that’s fine. No problem. That’s something I am okay with.”

Silque chuckled at that. “Anyways, I’m going to examine you, and check on your injuries, and after that I can answer more questions.”

Tatina had not realized the gravity of her injuries until Silque began to examine first the back of Tatiana’s head, then slowly moving downwards over her whole body. As Silque checked on the progress of Tatiana’s recovery, she said part of the cave they were in had collapsed, and Tatiana had been hurt. Falling debris had dealt a heavy blow to the back of her head, cracked a couple of ribs, and broken her legs in several places. General Ezekiel had dug her out even as the fighting continued, and carried her limp body to safety. But, Silque reported, Tatiana’s body had mostly healed in her time unconscious.

After that, Silque told Tatiana what she knew of her life, and apparently much of it she had learned from General Ezekiel. “We must have been close,” Tatiana remarked nonchalantly. 

“You can say that,” Silque replied cryptically. 

After that, Tatiana was feeling tired, and Silque gave her some privacy to sleep. 

***

Tatiana woke the next morning with the sunrise. She lay in bed for a few minutes, unsure of what to do, when someone quietly entered the room. It was General Ezekiel, carrying a tray of food, trying not to wake her. “Hello General Ezekiel!” Tatiana chirped. 

There was a moment of confusion on General Ezekiel’s face, as if he was unused to being addressed by that name. Had she confused him with someone else? But after a moment he turned to her and smiled. “Good morning, Tatiana. Have you been awake long?”

“Not at all,” Tatiana replied, shaking her head as General Ezekiel gently set the tray in her lap. He had provided a glass of juice and a small stack of pancakes, her favorite. 

Was it? The thought had sprung to her mind unbidden so apparently it was.

“Thank you, General Ezekiel, it was kind of you to prepare breakfast for me.” He stiffened just a tiny bit when she addressed him by name. “I’m sorry, am I confusing you with someone else?”

He shook his head. “No, no, I am General Ezekiel. It’s just that,” he stopped for a moment, and his tone shifted in a way that made it sound like he was trying to change the subject. “It’s just that Ezekiel is not my only name. Silque may have mentioned, I’ve had amnesia as well. I awoke in an unfamiliar country, and the love of my life raised me back to health. I took the name Ezekiel as I could not remember my own, but my name before that was Camus.”

Tatiana nodded sagely, muttering, “I see,” through a mouthful of pancakes.

“And Silque may not have mentioned, but we are currently in Zofia Castle, and are being welcomed as heroes for our role in the war. You have free reign to go where you wish if you feel comfortable with it.” 

He spoke so gently, and there was so much love in his eyes that Tatiana didn’t know what to say. All she could do was stuff her mouth with pancakes to cover her awkwardness. 

As she ate, General Ezekiel told her more of the Deliverance, and of what he knew of her life before the war. Once she had finished eating and he had gotten to a good stopping point in his story, he stood up. “If you don’t mind, I will be the one coming here to deliver your meals. We could have servants do it, but it may be good for your recovery if I can talk you through your old memories.”

Tatiana nodded. She was very eager to see this handsome man at every chance she could get. 

But as he scooped up her tray to take it out with him, she noticed a ring on his finger. “General Ezekiel, are you married?” Tatiana could not stop herself from blurting the question.

General Ezekiel was a stiff and formal man, from what Tatiana could tell, and he did not show much emotion. But being reminded of his ring changed the expression on his face. It was like watching part of an imposing mountain fall away. “I’m engaged, actually. But I do not know when I will next see my love.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Thank you for your time, General,” Tatiana muttered as he uncomfortably stepped out.

Tatiana’s face turned bright red with embarrassment and shame. She was supposed to be a woman of the cloth, and here she was trying to throw herself at a man who was engaged to be married, simply because he was showing her kindness. 

Tatiana did not know what her relationship with General Ezekiel had been, but she would not allow her feelings for him to show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Zeke and Tatiana, so I don't know why I'm hurting them like this, but I'm not gonna stop.


	2. Chapter 2

The dragon god Duma was beyond what Zeke could have imagined, but Tatiana didn’t even bat an eye. “Father Duma,” she called up at it as their forces approached. “Please, Father, there is no need for this to end in bloodshed. You love humans in your own way. You always pushed us to be stronger, better. We can end this battle here.”

While Zeke and the rest of the army had been stunned by the dragon god, Tatiana had moved past the front line in order to plead with the deity she worshipped. She may not support the teachings of Jedah and his ilk, but she still worshipped Duma in her own way. And maybe that way would let this end peacefully. Zeke certainly didn’t know how to fight a monster of that size.

But the only response Tatiana received from her deity was an empty stare. Then, with a roar, a burst of light shot from the creature towards Tatiana. She ducked behind a cave wall at the last moment, but the attack hit it and sent the whole section of wall collapsing on top of Tatiana.

This rallied the combined forces of both armies, and the force charged towards Duma. But Zeke ran towards where Tatiana lay buried. 

All that pierced the blanket of rocks were a few seafoam green strands of hair and a hand. Fearing the worst, Zeke began moving rocks aside as if his life depended on it. Because the woman’s whose life meant more to him than his own lay beneath.

The first part of Tatiana that Zeke was able to unbury was her blood. There was so much staining the rocks that had covered her head. The sickly iron smell stood out sharper than any amount Zeke had smelled on his many battlefields across two lifetimes. This was the blood of the woman he loved. That was the only thought in his head and he strained himself tossing aside more rock.

Finally, Tatiana lay uncovered, and Zeke was able to take her in his arms as gently as he could manage and run towards the healers. He did not know if she was breathing, and her blood was already staining his coat. She hung so limp, and felt so small in his arms. 

The weight, lifeless and small, reminded Zeke of a little girl whose body he’d pulled from a river minutes too late.

Suddenly, the weight increased sharply, and Zeke was holding a rock in his hands, and Tatiana was still buried, and he had to dig her out again, but he kept digging and digging, but he could only find more rocks, with more blood on them, and he could hear her breathing growing fainter and fainter as he dug deeper and deeper, digging so recklessly that he was cutting his hands up and leaving his own blood behind, but it wasn’t enough, no amount of digging made any progress, deeper and deeper he went but he still couldn’t find Tatiana, he thought he had found her, he thought she was saved, but now she was further away than before, and he kept digging and digging, and awoke from his nightmare in a cold sweat.

***

“I’m so nervous General, I can’t ever remember seeing a sunrise. I’m sure I have, but I can’t remember.” Tatiana bounced on her toes, looking up at him with a silly grin. She had been a bit down ever since he first brought breakfast to her, but this had put her in a good mood.

“This may not be your true first sunset, but I’m happy to be able to see you see one for the first time.” Zeke had to stop himself from adding ‘my love.’ There were so many little things that hurt him during his time with Tatiana. Having her call him ‘General Ezekiel’ made him ache for hearing her sweet lips form the name ‘Zeke.’ But she had worked so hard to nurse him back to health even though he was a total stranger. The least he could do for the woman he loved was to show her that same kindness.

Suddenly, the stillness of the night sky was interrupted by a growing stain of red. Zeke could only remember the crimson blossom he had scrubbed off of his coat after carrying Tatiana to a healer, but one glance at her, one peek of her smile, was enough to shatter the darkness looming over his heart.

As the sun slowly crossed the horizon, Tatiana’s smile grew bigger, until her whole body was swept up in the expression of joy and wonder. Every fiber of Tatiana’s being was cheering the opportunity to experience this moment for the first time once again. 

There was no need for Zeke to stare at the sun, because the light of his life was standing right beside him.

Zeke kept his hands at his sides, to ensure Tatiana would have this moment for herself. His hands felt empty without hers, and he longed to cover her delicate hands with his own. But as a woman without memories, she did not love him as she had before. It was not his place to resume their relationship. He would stand by her, as long as he had to, because he had sworn his life to her and he would see her find happiness. Whether that was by regaining her memories and returning to him, or finding someone new who would make her happy in her new life, he would stand by her.

“Excuse me, General Ezekiel, may I ask you a question?”

Zeke almost jumped. Hearing his title from Tatiana’s mouth felt alien. But he would have to get used to it. He just hoped he wasn’t making his discomfort too obvious. “Yes Tatiana?” My love.

“What is the name of the woman you’re engaged to, if I may ask?”

Zeke hesitated for a moment. His resolve was being tested. But he would not take advantage of his beloved. “I call her Tanechka,” Zeke responded in what technically was not a lie. But he could not hold back the gush of love that came with saying that pet name once again. “She was the one who nursed me back to health, who took care of me while I was in a strange place far from home. She gave me love, expecting none in return. But she won my heart, and I’ve sworn it to her. I do not know when I will be reunited with my love as she was when last I saw her, but I will live as long as it takes to be with her once again.”

Tatiana was silent, and after a moment he realized he had made her uncomfortable. Had he said something wrong? What was she feeling? He couldn’t tell. Tatiana had always been able to read him, no matter how much he tried to hide his insecurities, but he could never read her as well. “I see.” That was all she said for a long time. Then: “Thank you for waking up with me to see the sunrise, General. I hope you have a nice day, and are reunited with your love soon.”

Was it something he had said?


	3. Chapter 3

Tatiana decided to accept that General Ezekiel would not reciprocate her feelings. He was clearly in love with another woman. Tatiana did not know who this ‘Tanechka’ was, and no one would tell her what ‘Tanechka’ was like, so she didn’t even know what set them apart. 

She decided that she was going to give up on General Ezekiel. She stopped talking to him when he came by to visit her. She wasn’t rude, but she no longer had the passion and excitement she’d had before. It wasn’t even entirely deliberate. Just the sight of him, seeing him and knowing there was no way for them to be together, she couldn’t work up the energy she had been able to before.

General Ezekiel made note of her despondence, and asked her one day, “Are you alright, Tatiana? You’ve seemed unwell lately.”

“You don’t have to worry, General Ezekiel.”

That brought a frown to the General’s face. “I’m afraid I’m already worried, Tatiana.” He thought for a moment. “Would you like to go out? You’ve been cooped up in the castle since you woke up. Why don’t I take you out on the town?”

That sounded suspiciously like a date. Except it couldn’t possibly be a date, because General Ezekiel was engaged. Not only was he engaged, he was in love with his fiancee. He didn’t seem like the type to cheat, and if he was then Tatiana wouldn’t love him.

But he was so worried about her, and even though Tatiana wanted so badly to get over him, she couldn’t bring herself to turn him down. So, she finally said, “Yes, I would love to, General.”

***

After spending a while wandering the town, with none of the shops catching Tatiana’s eye, General Ezekiel led her to a small lake. 

It seemed like the kind of place couples would visit. 

The sun beat down, a harsh glare leaving Tatiana’s skin warm. She felt like she was going to burn. But a small pier stood over the lake, and Tatiana found herself drawn to it. The water was clear as General Ezekiel's eyes, a whole world tinged blue. There was so much life, brightly colored fish zipped up to snatch flies from the water’s surface, while others munched away at grass on the lakebed. Tatiana could feel a cool, calm energy coming off of the water, and she just wanted to jump in and bask in the pool.

So she did.

Tatiana stepped up to the edge of the pier, and simply allowed herself to fall forwards into the lake. 

Tatiana rushed through the air for only a moment, before plunging into the water. The cold was a shock for a moment, but her body had already adjusted, and it was a relief on her hot skin. 

Tatiana rolled over, floating on her back, not caring if anyone saw her in wet clothes.

But General Ezekiel was looking at her and not seeing her. “Tatiana!” he yelled as he dove into the water after her. 

He hit the water awkwardly, and began floundering around. General Ezekiel wasn’t swimming!

Tatiana swam over to him, dodging his flailing limbs, and tried to get his attention. “General Ezekiel! General Ezekiel!”

But he did not see her, his eyes were locked on a faraway memory. Was he having some kind of flashback? He’d mentioned washing ashore when he was found with amnesia. 

There was no more time to think, as General Ezekiel bergan to sink below the surface of the water. Tatiana kicked with all of her strength, and pulled them back above the surface. “Ezekiel!” she shouted again, trying to wake him.

But he was still thrashing about, and was unable to stay afloat on his own.

Once again, they went below the surface. 

They began to sink deeper, and Tatiana could feel Ezekiel growing weaker.

But with a surge of strength, she brought the two of them back above the surface. She didn’t even have enough air to say his full name. She just shouted “Zeke!”

And his eyes lit up, and he was able to take stock of his situation in moments. And then he was floating on his own, no longer struggling in Tatiana’s grip. “Tatiana?”

She wrapped her arms around him tightly. “Oh Zeke, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

They swam to shore, and Tatiana explained to Zeke that he’d had an episode of some kind. 

When she asked, he tried to shake her off. “You do not need to worry, Tatiana. I’ve dealt with those episodes before. I’m sorry you had to see that. But, you’ve begun to call me Zeke again. You used to-”

“Don’t change the sugject, Mister!” Tatiana pointed a finger accusingly at Zeke. “That was a serious matter. I’m not worried about what happened to me, or having to see that. I’m worried about the fact that going swimming sent you into some kind of flashback.” She took his hands in hers, both of them sopping wet. “Please, Zeke, what happened?”

Zeke looked down at her pleading face, and finally relented. He cared nothing about his privacy, he had no qualms with sharing his story with Tatiana. He simply did not wish to burden her with it.

But Tatiana made it clear that she was willing and able to bear that burden. “You see, Tatiana, my earliest memories before my amnesia cleared up were of drowning, of being battered around the sea. I’ve since began to remember much of my life before that, which I must admit is filled with shame and disgrace, but that was the one part of my past life that stuck with me. The last memories from before my new life began.”

“And you still jumped in after me? I wasn’t even in danger, and you have a horrible fear of drowning.”

Zeke nodded. “Yes, but I care more about you than I care about any of that.” 

That stopped Tatiana’s heart. Oh dear. Oh no. No no no. She was definitely in love. And that was not allowed. Nope. No. Absolutely not.

She turned away from him. “Well I’m just glad you’re okay.” 

They went back to wandering the town as they slowly dried off in the heat, and something in a shop window caught Tatiana’s eye.

***

A few days later, Zeke and Tatiana stood together beneath the full moon. The first time Tatiana had called him Zeke had simply been due to breathlessness, but it just felt right so she continued to call him that. 

“Tatiana, why did you call me out here?”

That got an uncomfortable laugh out of Tatiana. She was doing this. She was really doing this. 

She began fumbling in her pockets, trying to find what she was looking for. “Well, this isn’t really how it’s normally done, in a few ways.” She didn’t have the money to afford what she’d seen in the shop window, but she’d improvised. “For one, you’re engaged.” Finally, she found it: two small rings of silk. Tatiana went down on one knee. “Zeke, I am so sorry, but I have to do this. I love you, I’ve fallen completely in love with you. I know you have someone else, and I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. I’m being very selfish by doing this, but I couldn’t help myself.” She held up the two rings of silk. “This was the best I could do. I just had to do this. I’m sorry. I am so completely in love with you that I cannot imagine not confessing to you.” Tatiana stood up quickly. “I’ve said it, but I’m sure you’re uncomfortable so I’ll go now.”

Zeke, who had been completely stunned up to this point, finally reacted. “Wait, Tatiana! I love you too!”

That stopped Tatiana. But she couldn’t turn, couldn’t look at him. “Please, don’t get my hopes up. You’re engaged, and in love. There isn’t room in my heart for me.”

“Tatiana, you have no need to worry about that-”

“I thought you said you’d wait for her!”

“I did. And she came back to me. Tatiana, before you lost your memories, we were engaged. I didn’t feel comfortable telling you the truth, so I’ve hidden it from you. And I’ve referred to you by your pet name, Tanechka. You were the one I loved all along, Tatiana. And I’ve fallen in love with you all over again.”

Tears in her eyes, Tatiana threw herself on Zeke. She couldn’t say anything. She just cried tears of joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long hiatus, I'm back with another chapter. I'm hoping to be on a consistent release schedule until I finish this, so check back every Tuesday for a new chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Tatiana was on cloud nine. She was engaged to Zeke. She had been engaged to Zeke this whole time. She was a bit annoyed that the person she had been jealous of was herself but oh well. 

Now, Tatiana could comfortably go on dates with Zeke. She could listen to him recount their life together for hours, talking about how she had healed him, of their courtship, of her captivity by Nuibaba, of their time with the Deliverance, and the final battle with Duma. 

It was a lot to take in, but that was why Zeke spent days slowly working through all of it. But as time went on, there was something that Zeke never seemed to talk about.

Finally, Tatiana brought it up. “Zeke, honey, why don’t you ever talk about your memories? Didn’t they come back?”

Guilt washed over Zeke’s face. “I, yes, they have, I did mention that.”

Tatiana nodded. “Yes, and do you want to talk about it? You mentioned that it wasn’t a happy time for you.”

Zeke chuckled at what an understatement that was. “You aren’t worried? About there being someone else from my previous life?”

Tatiana thought for a moment. Now that Zeke mentioned it, what if he did love someone else? Someone who he’d known first, and longer, and who Tatiana could not compare to. 

And then she recalled how Zeke had been by her side the whole time since she’d awoken with amnesia. He hadn’t run off when he easily could have. He could have tried to end their relationship, but instead did what he could to salvage it.

“I trust you. You didn’t leave me, and you wouldn’t.”

Zeke’s shoulders sagged with relief.

And so he sat down and began to tell her about General Camus of Grust, war criminal and traitor. He talked about how, early on in his career, he stationed himself in small villages to discourage bandits from targeting those villlages, and how he’d played with the children. How the prince and princess of Grust had been taken captive, and to protect them he killed the royal family of Archanea. How he’d fallen in love with the one surviving member, Nyna. How she had later been condemned to death, and he had chosen to free her. But he didn’t run away with her. He fought, knowing he would be captured, because then he would bear the blame for his own actions and he would not have to worry about the young prince and princess.

It took a long time for Zeke to talk about his imprisonment. And torture. He skipped over it when first recounting it, and did not tell Tatiana the details until one night several weeks later when he awoke from a nightmare about the experience. Tatiana held him in her arms as he shook like a leaf. 

After skimming over his imprisonment, Zeke recounted his final battle with Prince Marth, and his apparent death, before being washed ashore near Tatiana’s village. 

At the end, Tatiana didn’t know what to say. All she could do was hold Zeke and cry. Cry for how much he had suffered. Cry for a man who had wanted so desperately to do good, but who was swept up in something so far beyond what he could do. She didn’t know how to feel about the things he had done. But she could still see how badly he had been hurt. 

And she could be grateful that she had helped him find a new life, a new person to be.

***

Tatiana bustled around the entrance to her home she shared with Zeke, trying to make sure that he had packed everything he would need. “Archanea is so far away. Are you sure you don’t need another scarf?”

Zeke, who had two around his neck and three in his bag, all handknitted by Tatiana, said, “Yes my love, I am certain these are enough.” 

“And you’re sure you have that mask Conrad made for you?”

Zeke pointed at the mask he was wearing on his face. “Yes my love.” 

“And you’ve packed Gradivus?”

Zeke shook his head at that. “No, I’m leaving it here with you, to make sure you are kept safe while I’m away.”

Tatiana couldn’t find anything else she could stuff into Zeke’s bag, which seemed ready to burst, so she gave up on that and threw her arms around him. “Are you sure you have to go?”

Zeke ran his fingers through her hair. “I apologize again, Tatiana. I wish I could stay here and hold you until the end of my days, but I must face the demons of my past. I’m a new man, but learning from my mistakes means nothing if I do not make an effort to fix the results of those mistakes. I will slay my demons, and return to you with a heart at peace. Wait for me, Tatiana, and I swear I will make you the happiest woman alive.”

She kissed him on the lips, briefly, for fear of never letting him go, and replied, “You already have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a bit nervous about writing the finale, but I couldn't think of a better way to end it so here we are. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
